Work / Life / Mom Balance
Last week Travis accompanied me down to Tiburon for a couple days to attend a workshop with a few folks from my broader team at Cisco. We stayed at a lovely hotel near the water, and I was able to spend some time in the sunshine with Amara, dipping our feet in the pool. The first night we arrived there was a team dinner, and I was able to meet many people I had never met in person and some I had never met virtually either. We ate at a beautiful restaurant by the water, with a view of the City, and the food and drinks were delicious. It was a nice way to get to know some of the people I will be working with a lot closer this year.
There has been a lot of change at Cisco throughout the years, and this year feels especially impactful for my team. I work in the channel organization, specifically working with Cisco’s Distribution partners. This year, there is a need for our Distribution team to be more closely aligned to our broader (global and regional), channel partner teams. I know those works don’t mean a lot to those who aren’t in this line of work - it’s taken me years to understand it as well as I do, and I still have more to learn. This meeting was an opportunity for me to meet people on these teams, and it was a great opportunity to show-up, contribute, and discuss goals with people face-to-face. I work from home, so although I do see these peoples’ faces daily, the opportunity to break bread together and enjoy some beautiful views really made the trip worthwhile.
By the time we got back home I was pretty exhausted. We had to do a lot of driving to and from the event, and I have to juggle between work and the baby since I am breastfeeding. I love being a mom, and I love my time with my baby — I know this time in our lives is truly special. But, I also enjoy work - it gives me a body of meaningful work to do outside of my home life. It allows me to provide for my family, and I am so grateful for that. But, this time is truly hard with the little ones who demand so much of our attention. I am constantly thinking about the baby while working - is she hungry, is she tired, is she fussy? I need to be there for her and address her needs. That makes it difficult at times to fully concentrate at work, and that’s a challenge. Being torn in different directions makes me feel like I can’t give 100% to either task.
I am stretched across so many things to balance. I want to do well at work and at home, and show up for my partner, friends, and myself, but it is exhausting. There needs to be more hours in the day or simply a break from it all. At the same time, I am grateful. My aunt and I had a conversation yesterday and she said something that stuck with me — it’s not about the “have to” but the “get to.” I get to spend time with my baby daughter throughout the day, while balancing work. I get to make the time for myself to take a walk or go to a yoga class. I get to spend time with my 3-year old son. I get to be present at work and make a meaningful difference in our organization for the company. As challenging as things are right now, I know they will get easier and this time is temporary and fleeting. I am trying to enjoy every moment, even through the hard parts.
