Children

My children have been the most beautiful thing I have created in my life. I am amazed that my body built these little creatures, and I am constantly at awe when I stare at their sweet little faces. I am grateful they are here and have blessed my life. But I am also scared — scared of what will happen to them in this life, and it fills me with dread.

Arnie broke his arm a week ago at school. School was an exciting new milestone for our family, and it seemed to come to a shattering halt when Arnie came home from school with a broken elbow. What was meant to be a nurturing environment suddenly lost that light. We spent a sleepless weekend worrying about our child, his pain, and his mental state. This will be an event we always remember, and I’m trying to move forward, but I am now filled with a new realization — our children will get hurt and experience pain.

It makes me question life and the trauma people have to go through. Why does life feel so painful sometimes? I am thankful Arnie is okay and his injury wasn’t worse. We have healthcare and he will heal, and we are fortunate for all of that. But then I get to thinking about all of the “what ifs” and the realization of the trauma other families have to experience throughout their lifetime. What will we do when something worse happens? Accidents, death of loved ones — so much sadness in this life.

Children become a blessing and source of pain because you cannot protect them from it all, and that is a heavy burden to carry. How do we know we are making the best decisions for them? What if our decisions lead them into these situations where they are getting hurt? How do we best protect them? Talk about adding even more pressure to be perfect in life by feeling like you need to plan for it all. It makes me sad that I can’t protect them from all of the pain this life has in store for them.

I seek out ways to calm my mind and my anxieties. I met with a therapist last week to help me talk through what we’ve been going through. I search for audio, videos, etc. to help guide me towards finding peace. I move my body to help me connect mind and body, but the anxiety finds a way to slowly creep back in. I’d love to know how others find ways to manage this kind of stress. What works for you?